So today I woke up dressed to attend a party, wearing a black cocktail dress, stockings and boots. Unfortunately, the party was last night, and this was not a good sign. Waking up dressed from the night before, at a 45 degree angle, upside down at the bottom of my bed, I cursed those two words that without fail, always end in disaster: open bar. Only an open bar can result in me tossing my cookies, to put it nicely (and by cookies I mean several vodka sodas). I hate vomit. Not that anyone likes vomit, and if you do then you are one weird mofo, but I really, really hate it. If a friend needs her hair held or comfort while face down in the toilet, my face will be MIA. Maybe that’s why when I throw-up, I never remember the traumatic experience. But when I walked into the bathroom this morning, the evidence was pretty conclusive. Ten minutes later I got a call from my friend that she was dropping her dog off for the day. Didn’t remember agreeing to that either, but the evidence from my bbm conversation also proved conclusive. Trying to piece together my night, I remembered cringe-worthy snippets of conversations I’d had. I was at the wrap party for my job on the television show “Happy Endings.” The last few weeks have been hard, waiting for the impending end date to the job I have loved. I felt like there were so many people who worked on the show that I hadn’t yet gotten to know well enough. So DD (Drunk Dyana) tried last night to cram five months of conversations into one evening. DD tried to make plans with anyone she could, to hang out after the show ended. Even people she first spoke with that very night. DD may have forced her phone number upon people against their will. DD also turned into a 55 year old women using phrases such as “leading the charge.”
The problem with the open bar was that there was a time limit. Two hours. In writing scripts, you are taught to add a “ticking time bomb” to up the ante and make the story more exciting. Well that open bar was my time bomb. And that bomb went off when I got home last night. I had thought these days were a thing of the past, now that college is done, but had an alarming realization this morning: they have only just begun, again. Season One: College. Season Two: Weddings. The thought of all the open bars in my near future is alarming, but also a sign of hope. Here’s hoping “Happy Endings” also gets another season and I’ll soon be working again with all these people. But not soon enough that they remember DD.

Watch our show, Happy Endings, when it airs on April 13th @ 10PM on ABC!

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