I just read an article from the New York Times titled “What Sounds Annoy You.” The article discusses misophonia, “a condition with which particular sounds can make someone enraged or even panicked.” I have never heard of misophonia, but I am delighted! I’ve always wanted a disorder of my own. To answer the question to this article “OMG, so many!” In particular, the sound of an emery board against someone’s fingernails gives me the chills. I silently suffer through all my manicures.

Even worse is the sound of people cracking their gum. Growing up we had a cleaning woman who would crack her gum while she cleaned. Unfortunately, no one could make the place shine like the top of the Chrysler Building quite like Maria, hence my request for her dismal was denied by my mother.  “The range of responses to these noises is broad, from irritation to disgust to anger. Some sufferers even respond with verbal or physical aggression to those making the noises.” I’m not a violent person but I can tell you that I’ve wanted to assault many women who have sat next to me on planes, trains, and automobiles (just kidding, no one is allowed to chew gum in my car).

The worst of all noises however, was this clicking noise that my younger sister discovered she could make and totally send me in a violent fit of rage. No hair-pulling or pinching could come close to the torment her clicking noise would bring me. It was this odd sound, in the back of her throat, and at the time my reaction probably made my parents fear that they had a child with extreme anger issues on their hands. It took over twenty years but finally, I am absolved.

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